Navigating rejection after a job interview - what to do when you don’t get the job
The emotional rollercoaster of job hunting is a stressful one, from the first application all the way through to, hopefully, an interview and securing a role. I have written before about dealing with professional ghosting, being ignored after sending a job application or even after an initial conversation about a role. But what happens when you have got as far as an interview and then are told ‘no thank you’?
For many, the interview is the final hurdle and it can feel like the job is yours. But it often ends with a ‘no’, and sometimes even with no reply at all. I have heard many stories and experienced myself the silence that can come after a job interview. I think it’s cruel and unprofessional of those recruiting to interview someone and then never follow up to let them know if they have secured a role or not. Dealing with the post-interview rejection, however it comes, is something you can navigate and move forward from.
Dreaming about your dream job once you’ve applied
When you apply for a job, you will begin to imagine life when you have that role. You might think about the salary and the take-home numbers. You might consider how it’ll help you clear your overdraft or pay for that next holiday. I am sure, when you apply for a job, you also imagine the workplace and how it’ll feel to work for that brand or company.
You might even go so far as to think about the ways in which the job will change your life long-term. Could this be the job you stay in until retirement, or a place where you imagine yourself growing, being promoted and really making an impact? When you are invited for an interview, those dreams get a virtual ‘tick’. Someone is saying ‘yes, you can dream those dreams because we think you are potentially worthy of this role’.
The post-interview ups and downs
Following an interview (and perhaps even a second interview), the waiting game is a big emotional challenge. You will go over in your head all the things you said, wondering if you answered in the best way. You’ll refresh your emails, and jump at every ‘unknown number’ that lights up your phone.
If it takes a while for them to come back to you, you will begin to feel a mixture of worry and excitement. Questions will go through your mind, ranging from whether you should contact them, to asking yourself if you should try to move on.
I have been that person refreshing my emails on the Friday of week two when I was told I’d hear within a fortnight - it can become all-consuming! You almost long for any answer, thinking: “It’d be better just to know if it’s a no!” even though you are hoping and praying for a ‘yes’.
Then, finally the email (it’s usually an email) comes. And it’s a no. Your stomach flips, your heart sinks. And you go from a ‘maybe’ and plans about your future career to a huge wallop of rejection. What next?
Dealing with the initial rejection of a ‘no’ when you’ve had an interview for a new job
It’s possible that you may cry when you get a job rejection. I have done, many times. There is a simultaneous shock of rejection and a slump in your belly, where it feels like all the emotions that have been battling within you all sink to the bottom like pebbles in a jar of water.
There might also be anger - the feeling that you have been rejected will be strong. Never mind that someone else was the ‘slightly better candidate’! Right now, you are smarting. You thought you were in with a chance and that’s now been denied.
Finally, there will be an element of shame and failure - especially if you had told other people about the interview. You’ll be asked or have to tell them directly that you didn’t get the job and go through the grief of knowing someone else will be announcing that they got the role.
How to move forward when you’ve been turned down for a job after an interview
All of the above feelings might come out really fast, or over a matter of hours or days.
There is one curveball feeling that you might also experience, and that’s relief. If you feel relief not to have secured the role, it’s time to think about the kinds of jobs you are going for and your job hunting dealbreakers.
Licking your wounds and regrouping after a job rejection is inevitable. You are allowed to feel sorry for yourself for a short while.
It’s also very important not to knee-jerk into more job applications. It’s acceptable to take some time, even if it’s just a day, to accept the news and not to throw yourself immediately into job hunting again.
Should you ask for feedback when you’ve been turned down for a job?
One of the biggest frustrations and a question that often goes unanswered after the ‘no’ following a job interview is ‘why?!’. Of course we all want to know why we didn’t get the job. We might have had a standard reply, that there was a ‘stronger candidate’ or that ‘your skills didn’t quite match what we were looking for’. But those don’t truly help you in your job hunt moving forward.
They can feel like platitudes, and can smart and fuel the anger and rejection you feel.
Asking for feedback is something many people consider doing - for some, it is important for their pride, for others it is about knowing what they can do differently next time.
If you are lucky enough to be told ‘why’ in the rejection email or phone call, that is gold dust because it is something you can then work on and focus on. For example, if someone is told they didn’t have a certain skill, or that it was felt you needed more experience in a certain area, you can then go ahead and look for training in that area or focus more on it in your current role.
Replying to a rejection and asking for feedback is very tempting, and it’s a personal decision. I would advise against it if there isn’t already information in the rejection email. This is because the no will still stand. For me it is a little bit like asking someone why they don’t want a second date with you. If they said truly, why, would it make a difference?
Much better to focus your attention forwards than forcing information from someone who has said ‘no thank you’.
How to get help with your job hunting
Going through the job hunting process alone can be challenging and demotivating. A coach can help you focus on goals, as well as the roles that are right for you and the jobs that align with your values and the things you can’t and won’t compromise on.
I offer a bespoke package for job hunters, which includes CV and LinkedIn edits and support, worksheets on goal setting and job hunting dealbreakers and one on one coaching, with support between sessions on everything from a cover letter to interview questions.
To enquire about working with me, fill out the contact form and I’ll be in touch. You can read more about my packages, as well as CV edits, LinkedIn coaching and group coaching, too.
